Favorite joke.

(other than Hillary or Barry, but than again they wouldn't be my favorite would they?)

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is John XXX and could I please speak to Robin XXXX?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.

When the same person once more answered, I yelled "Fuckin' jerk!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, 'Fuckin' jerk!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jerk. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Yo. This is Telly with the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a Fuckin' jerk!"

And the reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 722-4XXX.

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the stall. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black camaro come flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Asshole.. I was here first!"

The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.

I thought to myself, this guy's a fuckin' jerk, there's sure a lot of jerks in this world.

I noticed he had a For Sale sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 722-4XXX and yelling, "Fuckin' jerk!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "You the dude with the black camaro for sale?"
"Yes I am."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name dude?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes." "Don, you're a fuckin' jerk!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.

For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jerks to call. Then after several months of calling the jerks and hanging up on them, the whole thing started to seem like an obligation. It just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.

First, I had my phone dial Jerk #1.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "Fuckin' jerk!" But I didn't hang up.
The jerk said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah.."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your fuckin' name, pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
"Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Asshole! You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Fuckin' jerk!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jerk #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello? Fuckin' jerk!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your fuckin ASS!"
"Oh yeah? You just wait right there. I'm coming over right now, jerk!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them a big gang fight was going down at 1802 West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

I turned onto 34th Street and parked my car under the shade of a tree half a block from Jerk #2's house. There were two guys fighting out front. Suddenly there were about 12 police cars and a helicopter. The police wrestled the two men to the ground and took them away.

A couple of months go by and I get a call for jury duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with disorderly conduct. As luck would have it, it happened to be the same two guys. I might have influenced the jury, because when they announced the verdict, they said, "We the jury find the defendants to be guilty, and a couple of fuckin' jerks!"

/\

|
|
|
\/

Hillary's Dream

||
||
\/

/\
|
|
|
|

Barry or Barack ? ?

Really. Who is this guy?

click here

|
Lotsa links.
|

Who're YOU gonna vote for??

/\

|
|

|
|
\/

6,000 kids are killed every year

-
-
View video


-

And another


-

Check out Prince Harry's hat.

Gotta love it!

|

|

Add your caption.

1. "Why did I marry her? Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why, God, Why?

2. "Holy crap, look at that ass. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign.

3. "Can you imagine that lard ass in a thong?"

4. "Somewhere, there's young fat girls naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care.

5. "Sheesh, Rush Limbaugh is soo right - She does sound like Nurse Rachid!"

6. "There's not enough booze in the world to make her look good."

7. "To think I was the among the most popular and powerful of men, can you imagine how much better it would have been without her."

8. "If I hear her say 'the children', 'health care' and 'change' one more time I will puke."

9. "Jeezuz, did Walmart give her a lifetime supply of pantsuits for being a director?"

10. "Hard to believe she took voice and elocution lessons, isn't it, I have no idea what it sounds like when she isn't angry."

11. "Jeez, I wish she'd get some new slogans. . .I wonder if anyone would notice if I slipped out and went to that strip club down the street?"

12. Insert your caption in the comments

Gotta have a sense of humor!

enlarge picture
|
|
|

Maytag Neptune MAH AWA 3000 RIP

I would think the life expectancy of a front loading washing machine would be more than 9 years.
Guess not!

The dryer still works great but the washing machine just got what it deserved:
12 - 170 grain HP Noslers from a Glock 20.
/\
|
|

Too funny!

\ /
\ /
V

Check them out

click here to check out your latest email

Election Year

Keep these pictures in mind when you select who you vote for.

Fred at the Thompson-Center gun factory.

Still at the Thompson-Center factory.

Stopping in at a gun shop while on the campaign trail.

Fred Thompson is the only true conservative running for President in '08!

Donate a little to Fred
-- --
---
--
---
-- --
If you are like me,
"a little" is all you've got!
---
--
-
--
---

Hillary's design for a car discovered.

(I think John Kerry had some input)

These guys are very very good!

via videosift.com

Merry Christmas to all ! ! !

Maybe the New Year will have us all getting along like this! ! !

More of our Zoo !

Our newest kitten, Ernie.



Another picture of Ernie.


This monster is Elmo (flexing his claws)


Elmo has been diagnosed with feline leukemia but sure appears to be healthy and is doing fine.

As you can probably tell, our granddaughter named the cats!

Found the toy in the snow

Here's a short video of Mattie getting the toy. (QuickTime movie)





Dedicated little girl, diving into the snow.




She will be nineteen months old next week.

New Logo for UND?

Go here to get yours!

(No, I "have no dog in this hunt" (or in this controversy) but ya gotta wonder)

-

-

Twas the night before Thanksgiving . . .

And all through the house, the smell of baking and . . . . .

waiting for something to fall . . . .
some creatures weren't stirring . . . .

or . . . .


or . . . .

but some were still waiting for the morsel to fall . . . .


and the reason for waiting is seen right here:


She sure does spoil those dogs!! Even though I told her!


One of our Mini-Dachshunds was diagnosed with mammary cancer last week and due to her age she had to be put down. We are thankful for the 16 years she was a part of our life. The above picture was taken sometime in the late '90s.

Everyone please have a

Happy Thanksgiving!

EasyButton, The View

Rosie leaves The View